In 2003, after a few months of rehearsals we, the group members, finished our first duties with ease.
In 2004, we were the employees of the month, rookies with numerous top results. But unable to feel satisfied with just that, we started yearning for more.
2005, we set off overseas believing it would all go smoothly. The outcome was the worst as our first attempt had us selling only 4,000 copies. It was then that our confidence began to drop.
Japanese, a language we couldn’t yet speak.
And every day we’d spend our time between the dorm and the company.
A prison with an imprisonment disguised as something for our own sake.
An excessive amount of loneliness, tears and anger.
It was those things we said made us one.
We said that come what may, we couldn’t part ways (disband)
We said we should always be together
We said we would mirror each other’s good points
We said these things and held them in our hearts and kept running forward.
But one day, we finally reached the top, the peak we had so much wanted.
We even took to our phones and contacted our families, our friends.
We had finally arrived at that day.
From then on, everything began to go well…
Selling hundreds of thousands, winning all the awards, and harvesting the fruit of our labor. Even if we cried it felt like our tears dropped softly.
But the reason our happiness was greater than any sorrow
The reason that we never gave up and ran till the end
The reason we were stronger than anything else
Was because we were one.
Now, to you who has already changed… (I can’t stay in that spot forever)
I’ll be the first to turn my back on you. (I can’t shed tears forever)
I’ll call out your name, as I see you going far away (Fly me high into that sky)
We had been running for quite some time
But when we were met with an unexpected great wall
'Has it always been this dark?' is the thought that never left my mind.
And when this happened, together with the ever growing expenses and the increasing debts, the situation became something I could no longer handle on my own.
Our company once said these words to us,
"Tell me when you need something because we will always be family to each other."
"Tell me when you need something"
Remembering those words, I took the courage to call and ask for a favor.
Though I had a strange feeling about it, they were still the only place I could rely on back then… Because they said we were a family who would stay together forever.
Though I built up the courage to ask, I received nothing but a cold refusal. Their words angered me, but I held it in and once more I asked for help.
He hung up on me.
I couldn’t stop the tears from streaming.
I couldn’t get my mind straight but this wasn’t the family I had always believed it was.
When they needed us, we were family. When we needed them, we were strangers.
As time passed more outrageous things began to happen.
Upon hearing that we had finally hit jackpot overseas and the results were unimaginable, I walked into the office with joy in my footsteps to receive my earnings.
Our group members were all looking at each other with anticipation and excitement.
We congratulated each other on our hard work and complimented each other’s efforts.
But the statement of accounts said we were facing a deficit.
I checked it over and over again thinking I had read it wrong.
Everything was showing as an expense.
Damn, how could all that money disappear with the expenses…
And what kind of expenses were there for all that money earned to vanish?
My eyes felt like they were deceiving me and I asked for the detailed statement of accounts that up to that point I had never seen before.
They said they’d show it, but since all I did was work, I never did see those sheets of paper.
As time went on, the questions I had began to grow.
The more the group members gathered together to think about it, the more the headaches grew too.
If I can ask just one last thing,
Are the things we do, truly things that are for the company’s benefit?
Lets say they are or were. As kind souls, we’ll just let that slide.
We’ll forget it, for the company, and for us who have been together through all these many years.
But it isn’t right, and the things said, are things you shouldn’t have been saying to us.
Were you really planning on disappointing us until the very end?
When you called, all you did was talk about us, our group members, behind each other’s back. It was so hard to trust you.
Turns out, this is exactly as our sunbaes said. Did you want to keep the ones who would still willingly make that money for you?
A sunbae once told me that the exact same family the company always mentioned, would eventually make it hard for us to survive if we left.
And its those words that now haunt my mind.
Though there are many things I still want to say,
It frustrates me that I can’t because I keep thinking someone will make us suffer more at the release of this song.
Anyhow, though life has become more difficult, we are doing well and working just as hard.
Though we continue to be tormented by somebody, we still try to smile.
Our effort is not the effort of a mere product.
Our effort is driven by the desire to to die and leave this world with no regrets.
-Commentary by Yoochun-
Yes, in the end, it’s JYJ.
Yesterday and tomorrow, though I’ve thought about it all day long
I can truly feel the difference between then and now at 25, my age.
I will now put this pen down.
But my heart is at ease right now.
Because I am able to feel the love of our fans……
I’m thinking of sharing the burden I have kept in my heart all this time.
Though nothing is ever easy, my heart really is at ease now.
I’m happy because we have our fans as our family,
I’m always thinking of you all……
I love you.
So, could you believe in us till the end?
Could you tell us that you love us?
We’ll work hard till forever, so can you stay by our side?
Because we still have you
And you still have us
I promise, that I’ll show you everything eventually.
Yes, we are JYJ.
"You have raised the palace walls and firmly closed the door
They say that love is not imprisonment
Love is letting go to fly freely
But I don’t even expect that much
For we, who you made, are not even worth half of half of half of that.
We are nothing but eternal frogs living in a well.”
(Excerpt from the musical ‘Mozart!’)
Though I still have so much to say
I will end it here.
Just thought to voice out my opinion abt G.O.D’s reunion comeback song.
At the beginning of the song, it gave me the impression that they were tackling a serious social issue and I was impressed. Really impressed because not only did it sound good, the lyrics are empathetic and eloquent….but suddenly the rap comes in and its about…being dumped. I mean, it had so much potential to be a song majority people could relate to! It could be about bullying and you are finding strength, it could be about the world or nature and you are calling out for help etc etc.
I’m not a G.O.D fan and neither have I heard their songs in full (usually through covers by idols or variety shows) and since its their reunion song, I thought, why not? I think they will gain a whole new level of respect and their reunion could be seen as revolutionary. But instead, they chose a love song. A typical love song. Kind of disappointing.
So as some of you might know, I went to Japan a week ago and got to watch the new Studio Ghibli movie, Kaze Tachinu. While it was a great movie, what really touched me was the theme song, “Hikoukigumo” sang by Yuming. My mother and I were lucky enough to watch an interview where one of the producers of Kaze Tachinu talked about how Yuming reacted to Miyazaki wanting to use her song in the movie. She was delighted- but probably not for the reason you think.
In case you didn’t know, “Hikoukigumo” was not written for Kaze Tachinu, as most Ghibli movie theme songs are. Yuming wrote it when she was 16. When Miyazaki heard it he chose it, saying that it was perfect for the movie.
Yuming wrote “Hikoukigumo” because of a very close friend she had since Elementary school. Her friend had a weak constitution and was constantly ill. At the early age of 14, Yuming started her singing career and traveled around, taking voice lessons and performing. When she returned to her home town and visited her friend’s house, she was greeted by a shrine and the news of her friend’s death.
In her sadness, Yuming wrote “Hikoukigumo” and recorded it, however it was never a success compared to her other songs. So when Miyazaki contacted her and told her he wanted to use it in his film, she was overjoyed.
I wanted to pass this on, because “Hikoukigumo” is already such a lovely song, but when you know the background behind it it becomes even more touching. Now my mother and I can’t listen to it without tearing up! This song is the most popular song in Japan right now, you hear it practically everywhere (something that I’m sure Yuming is happy about). If you have the time, I recommend you to listen to it with the lyrics at hand.
(English Translation of the Lyrics below, since I couldn’t find one on the Internet. A warning though, that I’m not very fluent in Japanese)
Oh god, my feels….
Uuuuurgh my feeeels!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️